i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
