I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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