you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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