Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
