What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
