yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he thought i was a dude.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
