I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
