I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
