my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
