so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
