we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
