Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
