i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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