90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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