when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize