i think my mom watched the whole time
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
