the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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