Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
