one word: firstdatebathroomanal
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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