guys are not supposed to queef...right?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
40s are totally the cure
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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