So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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