I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
