that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday