When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
