I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
