Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
