The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize