i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
