do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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