Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize