Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
