dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
