I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
