What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
