I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize