i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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