it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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