How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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