am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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