I just cut my nipple shaving
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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