Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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