just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
