Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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