Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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