when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
