Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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