all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
