I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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