i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
