Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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