your room smells of hookers.
And success
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
