Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
