love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
