drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize