I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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