You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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