Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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