Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
