He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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