She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
