so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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