I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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