Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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