Where is the hickey?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize