Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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