hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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