and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just want nice things and good sex
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
