Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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