we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
